Monday, September 16, 2013

This Just in From The Department of DUH!

Best study ever proves booze really does make life better!

Well, that explains a lot.

 Turns out a team from the Boston University School of Medicine who've found that folks who drink "in moderation" have a better quality of life than those who completely cut out the booze. I guess that means that I have a damn near perfect quality of life!

The researchers tracked more than 5,000 50 year olds, and discovered that the regular drinkers scored highest when measured on factors including dexterity, emotion, cognition and mobility. "Overall, this study shows a positive relation between regular moderate alcohol intake and quality of life in middle-aged adults," said the study's authors. It's worth noting that their definition of "moderate" alcohol consumption is "no more than 14 drinks a week, and no more than three a day for women and four a day for men." Damn... moderate is four drinks per day? Guess I'd better get crackin' if I'm gonna hit my daily quota 

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