Thursday, March 11, 2010

Funny Story...


Last weekend I took the family out to Portland to do some shopping and enjoy the very Spring-like weather. After a trip to Toys R Us, we dropped in at Pizza Hut for some lunch. My youngest son had picked out a 3-pak of Ironman Superhero Squad figures, and brought them into the restaurant to play with. I was examining the figures which comprised of Crimson Dynamo, Ironman in his iconic "Avengers #4" armor (my personal favorite), and the dreaded Titanium Man.

Our waiter was at our table at the time where I noticed something humorous about Titanium Man's armor. So, holding the figure, I leaned over the table and not-so-quitely whispered to my son; "Look - he's wearing a skirt!". And at that point, we both started giggling like a couple of school girls.
Then, out of nowhere, my wife gives me a sharp elbow jab in the ribs and very angrily inquires; "what the Hell is the matter with you?!?" Confused and in pain, I reply; "What are you talking about?!? Why did you jab me so hard?!?" She appeared dumbstruck; now twitching, she said; "What could have possibly possessed you to say such a thing?!? Now, I was beginning to become upset; there have been times in the past when my wife has chastised me for making innocent, light-hearted fun of one of the kid's cartoons or toys or something, and now I realized that she was having a severe over-reaction to my critique of Titanium Man's girlie armored skirt. I replied in a very self-rightous tone; "Are you kidding me?!? It's just a toy, and Will even thought it was funny - you need to step off!"
"I'm not talking about the toy" she said. "The waiter heard you, and he's wearing an apron! He thought you were making fun of him!" Oh crap in a hat. "He didn't hear me - I was whispering" I said. Exasperated, she replys; "YOU CAN'T WHISPER! YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU'RE WHISPERING, BUT YOU'RE NOT! EVERYONE CAN ALWAYS HEAR YOU; I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THIS FOR THIRTEEN YEARS!!!"

And you know what? I think she was right. As the meal wore on, our waiter was avoiding our table, and when he did finaly come back, he would NOT make any eye contact with me whatsoever. Now I felt bad - I didn't want to embarass him by making a big deal about it, but I didn't want him thinking that I'm some kind of douchebag doing my best to raise my son in the ways of douchebaggery. Finally, he came back to give us our check, and I explained the situation and apologized. He insisted that he didn't hear me, but I think he did. So that's my story; 100% true, no $hit. Oh, and he was bringing the food when I made the comment, so no, he didn't spit on it. And I didn't get a refill on my Coke.

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